Supporting Your Pregnant Partner
Listen to Her
She is likely feeling overwhelmed and afraid. Listen with understanding to her fears and concerns. Respectfully validate her feelings. Do not tell her how she should or should not feel. She will want your advice and opinions soon enough. Initially, she just needs to know that you are there for her. Give her space and time to work through her emotions and begin processing her options.
To demonstrate you hear and understand her, try paraphrasing back what she says to you, then ask clarifying questions. For example, if she says, “I can’t possibly be a mother to a baby now. I’m just not ready.” You might say, “Being a mother to a baby is a big responsibility. I can understand why you don’t feel ready for it. What makes you feel unprepared to be a mother?”
Your Thoughts and feelings matter too
When appropriate, you should share with her what you are thinking and feeling. While you should support her in every way possible during this challenging time, you also owe her your opinions on the choices that you are facing together. The truth is…you have both a right and responsibility to sensitively voice your opinions regarding the choices before your partner and you.
Why your role is so important
While it is a woman’s legal right to choose, the men in her life significantly influence the choices she makes. None more significantly than the father of her child. This is why simply telling her, “I’ll support you in whatever you decide” is not enough. You need to tell her specifically how you will support her if she chooses parenting, delayed parenting, adoption or abortion. Most importantly…she needs to know if you will choose to be a father if she chooses to be a mother.
According to Heartbeat International, sixty-one percent of post-abortive women surveyed said they would have given birth to their baby had a single significant man they knew, loved, and trusted supported them in doing so. Note, the single significant man does not have to be the father, but that does not mean it shouldn’t be. As the father, what kind of man will you choose to be? The truth is…when it comes to unexpected pregnancies, when the father chooses to man-up, the mother is freed up to follow her heart.
If you are not the father, but are a man who is known, loved and trusted by a women facing an unexpected pregnancy, thank you for caring! The importance of your support cannot be over stated. That is why we are here to support you as well.
Abortion Facts Men Must Know
The truth is…your baby is the one most impacted by the choices you and your partner make. And yes, men, it is your baby too. Please help her choose wisely knowing that 86% of women having abortions in America are unmarried. Does this mean you should marry your partner and have this baby together? Not necessarily. This fact simply highlights the importance of your role regardless of whether you choose to marry your child’s mother or not.
We have your back
We know this is a very stressful time for you too. You may be feeling lost, confused, afraid, doubtfuI or even angry. We understand, and we have your back. We are here to support you and your partner 24/7. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at anytime.